Le guide ultime de Tinder pour obtenir des dates et des branchements


Compte tenu des millions et des millions de femmes qui utilisent des applications de rencontres aujourd'hui, ce n'est pas exagéré de dire Tinder est votre photo de la femme de vos rêves.

C’est aussi votre meilleur moyen de vous amuser avec de jolies filles comme celles-ci…

dream-girl-on-tinder

dream-girl-on-tinder-2

Ce guide de rencontres Tinder vous aidera à attirer le genre de filles que vous voulez.

Voici un exemple:

Courriel d'un gars qui a suivi les étapes de cet article

À tout le moins, ce guide vous aidera à obtenir des rendez-vous faciles et à vous amuser avec des femmes incroyables.

Et peut-être que cela vous aidera à attirer la fille de vos rêves.

Comment attirer les femmes sur Tinder

En ce moment, si votre intuition vous dit "Ce gars Marcus est sur le point d'essayer de me vendre quelque chose ici" ….tu as raison. Je suis.

Mais ce n'est pas un guide Tinder que je vous vends…. Le guide est tout ici gratuitement.

Chaque étape et chaque message vous devez attirer des femmes de haute qualité à distance de défilement ci-dessous, gratuitement.

Cependant, ce que je veux vous vendre, c'est le pouvoir de lien.

Je veux que vous voyiez à quel point la création d'une connexion avec des femmes sur Tinder peut être puissante et pourquoi cela rendra Tinder très, très, facile pour vous.

Regardez ça par exemple… ça ne serait pas bien si parfois des femmes sur Tinder vous demandaient d'abord comme ça?tinder-girl-wanting-to-meet

Et ne serait-ce pas cool si les femmes se sentaient si à l'aise avec vous … avant même de vous rencontrer … qu'elles vous diraient qu'elles aiment le genre de personne que vous êtes:

Texte de la fille que j'attends avec impatience pour vous rencontrer

Une femme de Tinder m'a envoyé ce texte avant notre premier rendez-vous.

Mais ne nous arrêtons pas là.

Imaginez si les femmes aimaient tellement être avec vous…. lors d'un premier rendez-vous … qu'ils vous diraient quelque chose comme ceci:

"Vous êtes comme un aimant. C'est dangereux pour moi… Je n'ai jamais rencontré quelqu'un qui soit intelligent, drôle, qui puisse vraiment tenir une conversation, et je suis attiré d'une manière que je n'ai pas ressentie depuis des années. "

C’est ce qu’une femme a dit à un de mes élèves après leur premier rendez-vous.

Et imaginez rendre les femmes si excitées de vous rencontrer à nouveau qu'elles vous envoient des textes comme celui-ci:

texte, émotion, rencontres

Une femme m'a envoyé ce message après un deuxième rendez-vous.

Attirer des femmes sur Tinder comme ça est en fait beaucoup plus facile que vous ne le pensez.

Vous voyez, toutes ces choses incroyables se produisent automatiquement lorsque vous créez un lien avec les femmes.

Pour le dire simplement: une connexion rendra les rencontres de Tinder très, très faciles pour vous.

Laisse moi te montrer comment…

Les 4 «miracles» de la connexion

Lorsque vous vous connectez avec des femmes, vous aurez beaucoup de succès facilement.

C'est parce que quatre choses miraculeuses vont se produire:

Miracle # 1: vous obtiendrez le numéro d'une fille dans 3 messages

Combien de messages faut-il normalement pour obtenir le numéro de téléphone d'une fille auprès de Tinder?

… 10 messages? 20?

Il n'y a rien de mal à prendre autant de temps, mais vous n'avez vraiment besoin que de trois messages. C'est à cette vitesse que vous pouvez vous déplacer lorsque vous créez une connexion.

Et votre taux de réussite? Si vous discutez avec 10 femmes, combien de numéros de téléphone obtenez-vous?

… Est-ce 1 sur 10?

Si tel est le cas, vous manquez parce que votre taux de réussite peut facilement être de 8/10 si vous créez une connexion.

Permettez-moi de le répéter pour souligner: lorsque vous créez une connexion, au moins 8/10 femmes à qui vous parlez vous donneront leur numéro de téléphone et sortiront avec vous.

Cela signifie que votre liste de messages Tinder ressemblera beaucoup à ceci:conversations réussies

Miracle # 2: Les femmes seront profondément attirées par vous

Lorsque vous créez une connexion significative avec une femme, elle ne se contente pas de penser que vous êtes «gentille».

Et elle ne vous «aimera» pas seulement.

Non, ce sera beaucoup plus que ça….

elle va vraiment comme toi intimement et romantiquement, d'une manière émotionnelle au niveau de l'intestin.

(Cela signifie que vous ne serez pas jeté dans la zone d'amis)

Elle pourrait vouloir une relation avec vous, une rencontre passionnée avec vous ou quelque chose entre les deux.

Fondamentalement, elle sera profondément attirée par vous.

Et parfois, cette attraction signifie qu'elle VOUS poursuit pour les dates et les branchements.

Un lien profond est ce qui fait que les femmes pensent d'abord à vous – avant tout autre homme.

Miracle # 3: vous aurez plus de rencontres amusantes

Pour beaucoup de gars, résultat de rencontres est super (rencontres, copines, etc.), mais le réel processus des rencontres est nul: trouver, rencontrer et attirer des femmes est la partie «difficile».

le processus ressemble à une bataille. Comme une guerre.

Voici la chose: lorsque vous pouvez créer une connexion significative avec les femmes, tout cela change instantanément. Il n'y a pas de partie «difficile». Il n'y a pas de guerre.

Au lieu de vous sentir comme un soldat qui se bat pour gagner contre un ennemi Tinder qui essaie de vous tuer, vous vous sentez comme un explorateur qui est toujours à l'aventure. Chaque voyage est passionnant et vous emmène dans un endroit qui en vaut la peine.

En termes simples, lorsque vous créez des liens significatifs, l'ensemble du processus de rencontres est tout aussi amusant que le résultat. Sans oublier, vous le rendez également 10 fois plus agréable pour chaque femme avec laquelle vous interagissez.

prendre-moi-sur-un-date

Faire des liens vous aidera à vous amuser à sortir ensemble tout en étant un gentleman complet.

Miracle # 4: vous vous sentirez plus heureux chaque jour

Tu te souviens quand tu étais un enfant essayant de dormir la veille de Noël?

Au fond de vous, il y avait ce sentiment spécial de "Je ne peux pas attendre demain."

Ce genre de bonheur et d'excitation est le même lorsque vous avez une connexion avec une fille.

Par exemple…

Lorsque vous avez une mauvaise journée de travail, imaginez pouvoir rentrer chez vous avec une incroyable petite amie qui vous attend.

Cela ne vous ferait-il pas vous sentir mieux?

Et ces week-ends ennuyeux où vous faites la même vieille chose… Imaginez à quel point vous vous sentiriez différent si vous pouviez vous connecter avec une femme passionnante et aventureuse chaque samedi soir.

Une connexion significative peut vraiment vous rendre plus heureux chaque jour.

Et n'oubliez pas que lorsque vous vous connectez avec des femmes, elles ressentent exactement la même excitation pour VOUS.

Maintenant que vous savez ce qu'une connexion peut faire pour vous, allons-y pour que vous puissiez en faire l'expérience par vous-même

Chapitre 1

Les 7 ingrédients de la connexion profonde (et de l'attraction)

Pour commencer, permettez-moi de dire que tout va bien si vous ne savez pas comment vous connecter avec les femmes en ce moment. Au début, je ne savais pas non plus.

Pendant deux ans, cela a signifié que j'ai échoué et que je n'ai jamais reçu autant qu'un baiser.

Mais ensuite j'ai découvert une stratégie simple et maintenant je peux me connecter profondément avec les femmes de Tinder et obtenir des dates et des branchements avec 3 messages.

Cette simple "recette" est si efficace que j'ai écrit ce guide Tinder pour vous montrer exactement comment cela se fait.

Maintenant, comme pour toute recette, la première chose que vous devez faire est d'utiliser les bons «ingrédients».

Alors, quelle est la recette secrète de la connexion?

J'appelle ça FOCUSED…

F.O.C.U.S.E.D.

FOCUSED représente les sept ingrédients qui vous aideront à établir des liens profonds avec les femmes sur Tinder et les premiers rendez-vous.

Je vais décrire brièvement chaque ingrédient maintenant, puis je vous les expliquerai en détail dans le reste de ce guide.

F pour l'avenir. Parlez de votre avenir (c'est-à-dire rendez-vous amoureux) et faites-le tout de suite.

O pour l'ouverture. Encouragez l'ouverture et l'honnêteté afin que vous vous sentiez tous les deux à l'aise.

C pour Commonality. Recherchez et mettez en évidence un terrain d'entente.

U pour l'unité. Au lieu d'être séparés (c'est-à-dire VOUS et ELLE), vous voulez être une équipe (WE / US / OUR).

S pour le partage. Partagez des histoires, des expériences, des moments et des souvenirs avec elle. Partager, c'est aussi donner sa grandeur.

E pour Emotion. Évoquez les bons sentiments et émotions. Faites cela et vous n'aurez plus jamais à poursuivre une femme.

D pour la profondeur. Aller en profondeur. Explorez des sujets révélateurs personnels.

Si vous utilisez ces sept ingrédients dans vos conversations et vos premiers rendez-vous avec Tinder, vous pourrez explorer pleinement votre relation avec n'importe quelle femme… et, par conséquent, vous aurez plus de succès que vous ne pouvez l'imaginer.

Cette recette (ou système) a créé des résultats extraordinaires pour moi et mes clients au fil des ans, et peut faire de même pour vous.

Voyons maintenant ces sept ingrédients en détail.


guide-amadou-sous-section-futur


Chapitre 2

Cartographiez votre avenir

Combien de conversations Tinder avez-vous qui ne vont nulle part rapidement?

Par exemple, vous pourriez demander à une femme quelle musique elle aime, ce qu'elle fait pour le travail ou quels sports elle aime.

Les choses vont bien pendant un certain temps, mais après quelques-uns de ces sujets aléatoires, la conversation se tarit et vous ne savez pas quoi dire ensuite.

Une conversation sans but donne l'impression qu'il n'y a pas de chimie, n'est-ce pas?

Eh bien, ce que vous devez faire c'est tracer un chemin vers l'endroit exact où vous voulez aller.

Pour le dire autrement, vous devriez créer une histoire fascinante sur la rencontre dans le futur et aller à une date ensemble.

Voici un exemple de création d'une histoire sur un premier rendez-vous dans une galerie d'art:

tinder-future-date-talk-example

Pouvez-vous voir le «futur» se créer? C'est un rendez-vous dans une galerie d'art.

C’est une toute petite chose, mais cette future destination change tout!

Cela signifie que vous ne discutez plus sur Tinder pour le pire.

Votre chemin est tracé et il y a un sens et un but à ce que vous faites tous les deux – dans ce cas, vous êtes en route vers un premier rendez-vous coquin dans une galerie d'art.

Comme tout dans la vie, lorsque vous avez un objectif spécifique et que vous pouvez visualiser cette destination, il devient beaucoup plus facile de vous y rendre.

"Tout est créé deux fois, d'abord dans l'esprit, puis dans la réalité." – Robin Sharma

C’est pourquoi nous ne comptons pas sur la chance pour que les femmes le voient. Nous n'espérons pas que les femmes puissent imaginer nous rencontrer et passer un bon moment. Nous n'espérons pas qu'ils pensent la même chose que nous.

Au lieu de cela, nous nous assurons que cela se produit en créant délibérément l'histoire de rencontre que nous voulons.

Avant de vous en rendre compte, tout se mettra en place et vous vous retrouverez comme vous l'avez défini.


chapitre 3

Date-Talk

La façon dont vous cartographiez votre future destination est avec quelque chose que j'appelle Date-Talk.

C’est vraiment facile. Tout ce que vous faites est de parler de votre rendez-vous afin que l'histoire de votre premier rendez-vous se construit.

Voici un exemple: Alicia et moi parlions d'un rendez-vous pour un brunch alors je lui ai demandé où était son café préféré. Elle n'a pas répondu, mais nous (j'ai) construit l'histoire à partir de là:

Tinder, rendez-vous amoureux,Alicia avait une personnalité créative et artistique, donc ce genre de première date lui plaisait – ce genre de destination fait appel à elle.

La façon dont vous parlez d'un rendez-vous dépendra de votre propre style et de votre personnalité, et sera également adaptée aux femmes avec qui vous parlez. Mais en gros, vous ne faites que couvrir ces trois questions:

Où aura lieu votre rendez-vous?

Que vas-tu faire à ton rendez-vous?

Qu'allez-vous ressentir lors de votre rendez-vous?

Même si c'est hypothétique, même s'il est ludique, même si c'est une plaisanterie ridicule, les rendez-vous amoureux auront un impact remarquable sur elle.

Vous allez étirer son esprit et ses émotions au point où aller à un rendez-vous avec vous n'est pas un gros SI ou PEUT-ÊTRE, cela devient un QUAND définitif.

C’est un gros problème. Cela signifie qu'elle maintenant attend pour vous rencontrer et attend passer un bon moment.

"L'esprit, une fois étiré par une nouvelle idée, ne revient jamais à ses dimensions d'origine." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Voici trois autres raisons pour lesquelles Date-Talk est si puissant sur Tinder:

1. Date-Talk vous rend à l'épreuve du rejet

Avez-vous remarqué que Date-Talk ne lui demande pas de sortir? C'est important.

Le rendez-vous amoureux ne lui dit pas "Décidez et engagez-vous à notre rendez-vous dès maintenant." Ce n'est pas lui claquer le visage avec un "Veux-tu sortir avec moi?"

Il se glisse doucement à côté d'elle et dit "Explorons la possibilité".

C'est la bonne chose à propos de cette approche – c'est simplement un sujet de conversation, donc cela vous rend complètement à l'abri du rejet.

2. Date-Talk vous fait vous démarquer et être mémorable pour les femmes

Regardez ce clip vidéo de 40 secondes ci-dessous. Vous vous en souviendrez pendant les cinq prochaines années sans même essayer:

Pourquoi cette vidéo est-elle si inoubliable?

C’est parce que les histoires sont ce dont nous nous souvenons le mieux. C’est ainsi que nos cerveaux sont câblés.

Ainsi, lorsque vous utilisez Date-Talk pour créer une histoire sur la rencontre avec une femme, vous vous rendez profondément mémorable pour elle.

Mais encore mieux que ça: Vous faites la génialité que vous et sa part ensemble mémorable.

connexion-mémoire-sur-tinder

Se souvenir de toi, c'est bien, mais tu veux aussi qu'elle se souvienne à quel point c'est génial quand tu es ensemble.

Ce sont deux des facteurs les plus importants lorsqu'il s'agit de se connecter avec les femmes.

Quand une femme se souvient de vous – et du plaisir qu'elle a avec vous – plus que tout autre gars sur Tinder, alors vous vous mettez dans une position de pouvoir et de privilège.

3. Date-Talk est le sujet le plus sexy de Tinder

Il n'y a pas d'autre sujet plus excitant et intéressant que de discuter ensemble de votre premier rendez-vous.

Mieux encore, vous pouvez le faire avec n'importe quelle femme.

Même si elle n'a rien dans sa biographie, même si ses photos sont ennuyeuses, même si vous ne vous sentez pas créative, vous pouvez toujours avoir une conversation affectueuse avec Tinder avec une femme simplement en parlant de votre date.

Alors, relancez Date-Talk tôt. Dans les premiers messages. Si vous faites cela, votre succès Tinder montera en flèche.


amadou-guide-sous-section-ouverture


Chapitre 4

Conquérir les moments de l'ascenseur

"Observez attentivement la magie qui se produit lorsque vous donnez à une personne juste assez de réconfort pour être elle-même." – Atticus

Si un gars apprend seulement cette compétence, son emploi du temps sera toujours rempli de dates.

Mais qu'est-ce que l'ouverture?

Pensez à être à la maison avec vos proches, à vous sentir libre de parler et d'être à votre guise sans crainte d'être jugé.

C'est l'ouverture.

Quel est le contraire?

C'est comme lorsque nous sommes dans un ascenseur avec des étrangers: nous ne nous faisons pas face et nous établissons rarement un contact visuel ou parlons. Nous regardons le sol, nos téléphones, les boutons sur le mur ou le numéro d'étage en comptant de haut en bas.

Un ascenseur plein d'étrangers est inconfortable et étouffant.

Pour réussir à créer rapidement des connexions, vous devez être en mesure de transformer rapidement les environnements d'ascenseur (mauvais) en environnements familiers (bons).

En d'autres termes, vous voulez créer un sentiment d'ouverture pour vous-même et pour les femmes avec lesquelles vous interagissez.

openess, Tinder dating experience, ascenseur, maison

Parfois, dans un ascenseur plein d'étrangers, il y aura une personne courageuse. Il ou elle dira quelque chose qui perce le silence. C’est comme une foudre qui fait soudain tout le monde s’illuminer et commencer à parler librement.

C'est la même chose quand il s'agit de rencontrer des femmes de Tinder pour la première fois – vous pouvez toujours faire une transformation instantanée.

Cette habileté à promouvoir l'ouverture avec une femme est l'un des outils les plus puissants pour créer de l'attraction et de la connexion.

C'est parce que c'est dans cet environnement complètement ouvert, authentique, confiant et sans jugement que les gens se sentent libres d'être eux-mêmes. C'est un terrain fertile où votre connexion se développera comme un fou.

Comment être génial en étant ouvert de façon rafraîchissante

Les résultats de ce type de communication ouverte sont pour le moins phénoménaux. Voici un exemple de la puissance d'ouverture rafraîchissante qui peut être:

Graham Chapman, membre de l'infâme Monty Python, est décédé en octobre 1989. Ci-dessous, un extrait de ses funérailles où la légende de la comédie John Cleese rend hommage à son ancien collègue.

Il faut le voir pour le croire.

Je ne veux pas que tu sois bon quand il s'agit d'attirer le genre de femmes que tu veux. je veux que tu sois génial.

Si je peux vous aider à capturer une infime partie de la communication rafraîchissante de John Cleese et à l'utiliser à votre avantage de rencontres Tinder, vous réussirez à être génial.

Ouverture sur Tinder

Voici comment un gars va créer un sentiment d'ouverture "se sent comme un ascenseur" sur Tinder:

  • Il commence timidement la conversation avec "Salut", "Hé" ou "Comment ça va?"
  • Il ne fait pas savoir à la femme ce qu'il aime chez elle. Et si elle lui fait un compliment, il baisse la tête, remue les pieds et lui répond d'une manière «aww shucks».
  • Il pointe du pied le désir qu'ils doivent tous les deux rencontrer. S'il parle d'aller à un rendez-vous, ce n'est qu'au tout dernier moment possible, et à ce moment-là, il s'agit plus d'une «plaidoirie désespérée» que d'une «exploration amusante».

Voici comment vous allez créer un sentiment d'ouverture "comme à la maison" sur Tinder:

  • Vous allez servir la conversation au chaud dès le début: interagissez avec la liberté et l'ouverture comme si vous étiez déjà bien au-delà des introductions «apprendre à vous connaître». Ou mieux encore, commencez comme si vous étiez de bons amis au milieu d’une grande conversation.
  • Vous allez être courageux en déclarant ouvertement ce que vous aimez chez elle. Et vous allez être suffisamment confiant pour savoir qu’elle est aussi attirée par vous que par elle.
  • Vous allez vous autoriser à laisser voir cette partie "idiote" unique de votre personnalité. Surtout quand tout le monde autour de vous fait le contraire.
  • Vous allez être calme et conscient, capter tous les signaux «venez ici» qu'elle vous donne. Ensuite, vous allez lui faire sentir bien servi en agissant rapidement sur eux.
  • Vous allez être un homme avec un plan et explorer en toute confiance le sujet de votre future rencontre (Date Talk).

Ce dernier point sur l'exploration ouverte du sujet de votre rendez-vous est essentiel.

Voici quelques exemples du type de réponses que vous obtenez souvent après avoir librement parlé de votre date sur Tinder:

amadou, date, exemple

Amadou, date, exemple

amadou, date, exemple

N'oubliez pas: vous êtes tous les deux sur Tinder parce que vous voulez rencontrer des gens. Vous avez tous deux correspondu, ce qui signifie que vous vous trouvez tous les deux attrayants. Il est prudent de supposer qu’une date (ou au moins une rencontre en quelque sorte) est ce dont vous êtes tous les deux là pour parler.

Aimez-vous les femmes qui sont agréablement ouvertes et honnêtes?

https://www.tinderseduction.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/open-and-honest-on-tinder


tinder-guide-paragraph-commonality


Chapitre 5

Comment rendre les femmes comme vous plus

Avez-vous déjà demandé à une femme de décrire son type parfait de gars?

Sinon, vous avez peut-être vu des femmes sur Tinder répondre à cette question dans leur biographie:Tinder-bio-perfect

Tinder bio, perfect guy

Ce que vous remarquerez, c'est que la plupart du temps, le gars parfait d'une fille est quelqu'un qui lui ressemble.

Ce n'est pas une coïncidence. Le fait est nous aimons les gens qui nous ressemblent.

Donc ce que vous voulez faire à chaque occasion, c'est mettre en évidence les points communs vous partagez avec une femme. Vous voulez montrer que vous lui ressemblez.

En conséquence, vous l'aiderez à voir que vous pourriez être le gars parfait pour elle et elle vous aimera beaucoup plus.

Dans le chapitre suivant de ce guide, vous apprendrez la «formule du flirt» afin de pouvoir le faire avec n'importe quelle femme, à tout moment.


Chapitre 6

Comment flirter et taquiner sur Tinder

Voici une question que je reçois constamment – c'est quelque chose avec laquelle beaucoup de gars sur Tinder ont du mal:

Comment flirter / taquiner sur Tinder? Je peux le faire facilement dans un bar, mais j'ai du mal à le faire en ligne depuis son texte. Mes conversations ont tendance à être quelque peu logiques, donc même si elles sont intéressantes, je pense que les femmes ne sont généralement pas attirées par cela.

Premièrement, la meilleure façon de flirter sur Tinder est avec rendez-vous amoureux. Aucun doute là dessus. Si vous commencez simplement à parler de faire un grand premier rendez-vous ensemble, il est presque impossible de ne pas flirter et de créer d'énormes quantités d'anticipation.

Bien sûr, vous le savez déjà dans la première partie du guide.

Alors laissez-moi vous dire une autre façon de flirter et de taquiner Tinder (ou en personne) tout en soulignant quelque chose que vous avez en commun avec une femme.

Je l'appelle le Flirting Formula ou la formule 3C Flirting:

Points communs + compliment + défi = chimie de l'amadou coquette

Voici ce qui est impliqué.

  • Étape 1. Recherchez ses photos de profil Tinder ou son texte bio pour point en commun vous pouvez mettre en évidence
  • Étape 2. Créer un compliment liés à ce point commun.
  • Étape 3. Créez un jeu défi c'est lié à la communauté et au compliment.

Ça a du sens?

Permettez-moi de vous donner un exemple pour vous en assurer.

Supposons que l'un de vos passe-temps soit le vélo et que vous vous associez à une femme sur Tinder qui aime aussi le vélo. Sa biographie dit quelque chose comme ceci:

tinder-bio-aime-faire du vélo

Et elle a également une photo d'elle posant sur un vélo lors d'une balade décontractée – quelque chose comme ceci:

compliment, femme

Vous avez tous les deux un passe-temps en commun. C'est génial.

Maintenant, c'est à votre tour pourrait commencez la conversation en disant: «Hé, j'aime aussi faire du vélo. Où conduisez-vous? "

C’est une question ouverte décente pour commencer. Pas mal. Mais l'inconvénient est qu'aucune chimie coquette n'est créée et qu'elle se sent un peu forcée.

Une meilleure option ici est d'utiliser la formule de flirt – mettez indirectement en valeur votre intérêt commun et transformez-le en une histoire ludique partagée. Comme ça:

flirt, allumeuse, amadou

Pouvez-vous voir les 3C en action ici?

Point en commun = Nous aimons tous les deux le vélo

Compliment = Ses grandes jambes

Défi = Essayez de me suivre

Maintenant, vous faites un travail formidable en disant: «Regardez! Nous sommes similaires! " mais d'une manière naturelle et séduisante.

Ces taquineries ludiques sont également excellentes pour créer de la chimie et vous aider à vous concentrer sur l'avenir en créant une histoire.

Peu importe la femme que vous rencontrez sur Tinder, vous pouvez presque toujours utiliser les 3C pour mettre en évidence un point commun et flirter.

Votre match Tinder est-il un coureur, comme vous? Vous pouvez utiliser la formule de flirt de la même manière que le message de cyclisme pour avoir le même effet:

flirt, allumeuse, amadou

Si vous aimez le surf et que la femme a une photo d'elle en train de surfer, vous pouvez la féliciter pour la vague qu'elle a attrapée et ajouter un défi amical. Le résultat sera similaire à ceci:

flirt, allumeuse, amadou

Supposons que vous vous associez à une femme et que vous remarquiez dans son profil qu'elle est bien éduquée et aime jouer à des jeux de société, tout comme vous. Que diriez-vous de dire:

"[Her Name], Je suis impressionné que vous ayez un doctorat. dans ___. J'espère juste qu'un joueur aussi performant que vous pourra toujours perdre gracieusement quand nous jouerons au Scrabble…;) »

Mettre en évidence les similitudes avec la formule de flirt peut rapidement créer un lien entre vous et n'importe quelle femme.

En fin de compte, la formule de flirt rendra les femmes plus excitées par vous et vous appréciera beaucoup plus.


amadou-guide-sous-unite


Chapitre 7

Il est sympa. Mais ça ne m'intéresse pas.

Quand une femme vous correspond pour la première fois sur Tinder, voici comment elle voit les choses:

Elle vous considère comme un étranger. Quelqu'un qui est distant, inconnu et qui ne fait pas du tout partie de son monde.

Ce n'est pas suffisant, n'est-ce pas? Nous la voulons… Nous en avons BESOIN… de vous voir comme quelqu'un qui est beaucoup plus près que ça.

Vous voir comme un gars un peu plus proche ressemblera à ceci:

Maintenant, ce «rapprochement» se produira naturellement au cours de la conversation sur Tinder. Cela se produira en échangeant des informations telles que:

  1. Ce que vous faites tous les deux pour le travail
  2. Où vous avez tous les deux étudié
  3. Où vous vivez tous les deux
  4. Comment vous vous sentez tous les deux (c.-à-d. Demander "Comment allez-vous?")
  5. Ce que vous avez fait le week-end ou ce que vous faites le week-end prochain

En fait, le simple fait de parler de quoi que ce soit – même de petits discours ennuyeux – la fera vous voir comme quelqu'un qui n'est pas un parfait inconnu.

Maintenant, «plus près», ça va. C'est bien si vous voulez être une connaissance amicale, mais …

Closer est toujours NULLE PART PRES DE ce que vous pouvez réaliser. Plus proche ne va pas la faire se sentir profondément attirée par vous.

Plus proche la fait réfléchir "Oh, il est gentil. Mais ça ne m'intéresse pas. "

Et ça ne va certainement pas la faire se connecter profondément avec vous.

Alors, quel est le niveau suivant? Quand une femme se sent-elle intimement connecté avec vous?

C'est quand elle se sent uni avec toi.

Dans le chapitre suivant, vous découvrirez pourquoi l'unité est la position de changement de jeu incroyable dans laquelle vous voulez être.


Chapitre 8

Comment obtenir n'importe quelle date, connexion ou relation que vous voudrez jamais

Winnie l'ourson: Vous êtes juste à temps pour la meilleure partie de la journée!

Christopher Robin: Et quelle heure est-ce?

Winnie l'ourson: Quand vous et moi devenons nous.

Lorsque vous suivez ce que vous avez appris dans ce guide et restez concentré, vous obtiendrez un résultat incroyable. Les femmes vous verront comme ça:

Au lieu de vous voir comme un gars étrange et séparé d'elle-même, elle commence à lien elle-même à vous.

Dans son livre incroyable, Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade, le Dr Robert Cialdini explique que ce processus de chevauchement fait que les gens «se sentent en harmonie avec les autres».

Fondamentalement, cela signifie qu'il y a un tel sentiment d'unité que le cerveau est confus et traite «nous» (vous et elle) de la même manière que «moi» (elle-même).

C'est le sentiment d'unité qu'elle ressent pour vous a la possibilité de déverrouiller n'importe quelle date, n'importe quel branchement ou toute relation que vous voudrez jamais.

Lorsque vous pouvez créer une situation de «nous», il n'y a pas de bataille difficile pour attirer une femme. Vous n'aurez pas besoin de convaincre son rendez-vous parce qu'elle s'intéresse déjà à vous.

En fait, elle vous poursuivra probablement pour un rendez-vous!

Voici la chose super intéressante à propos de la connexion sur Tinder

Ce sentiment de bien-être qu'elle ressent avec vous – sa connexion qu'elle ressent avec vous – laisse des «empreintes» dans vos conversations Tinder.

Prenez note de ces indices et vous pourrez littéralement savoir ce qu’une femme pense de vous, même si elle ne le dit pas directement… et même si elle ne le sait pas consciemment elle-même.

Ce qui se passe, c'est qu'elle commencera à utiliser ces mots spéciaux «Nous», «Nous» et «Notre» dans votre conversation Tinder, ainsi que quelques autres mots de jonction comme «Pair» et «Team».

Elle le fait parce qu'elle se sent connectée avec vous et ressent le chevauchement.

nous, nous, notre, intimité

Comme vous pouvez le voir ci-dessous, lorsque les choses vont bien, des mots comme We / Us / Our / Team / Pair peuvent souvent être trouvés à proximité.

amadou, nous

amadou, unité, équipe

amadou, unité, nous

Maintenant, ce n'est évidemment pas une règle stricte et rapide car chaque conversation est différente. Vous ne voulez pas célébrer simplement parce que vous voyez un «nous» ou «notre» dans votre conversation. Mais, il est très rare de voir ces mots unificateurs si une femme ne s'intéresse pas vraiment à vous, c'est donc une ligne directrice assez solide à suivre.

Maintenant que vous savez quoi chercher, vous devriez être en mesure d'identifier le moment où une femme a commencé à se sentir vraiment connectée avec vous, que ce soit sur Tinder, lors d'un premier rendez-vous ou dans un bar.

Être en mesure d'identifier ces indices vous donnera une grande confiance en vous sur Tinder – vous aurez 100% confiance en obtenant son numéro puis en fixant une date parce que vous saurez qu'elle est connectée et attirée par vous.


Chapitre 9

La «technique Obama» qui rendra les gens comme vous plus

Cette technique suivante est un autre moyen simple d'encourager l'unité.

je l'appelle Liens linguistiques.

Le nom semble fantaisiste, mais c'est en fait une technique vraiment simple. Il s'agit d'utiliser autant que possible ces mots magiques We / Us / Our join lorsque vous êtes avec quelqu'un avec qui vous voulez vous unir.

Un excellent exemple de liaison linguistique est souligné par le Dr Kevin Dutton dans Flipnosis. 18 minutes.

Regardez juste une minute ou deux de son discours ci-dessous et vous verrez à quel point il met l'accent sur le sentiment de bien-être.

Lorsque vous utilisez Liaison linguistique, il est presque impossible de ne pas parler de manière unie et intime avec une femme.

C'est comme si je vous mettais au défi de vous mettre en colère contre quelqu'un qui n'utilise que des mots gentils – ce serait très difficile à faire parce que les mots que nous utilisons importent beaucoup.

Alors commencez à saupoudrer nous / nous / nos à travers toutes vos conversations, comme ceci:

Cela semble minuscule, mais vous remarquerez que ce simple changement modifie complètement la façon dont vous interagissez avec les femmes sur Tinder et la façon dont elles interagissent avec vous.

Chapitre 10

Mots de passe de connexion secrets

Pensez à un couple romantique que vous connaissez qui est vraiment lié les uns aux autres – peut-être que c'est votre ami qui vient de commencer à sortir avec quelqu'un, peut-être que ce sont vos grands-parents qui sont mariés depuis plus de 40 ans, ou peut-être que vous étiez avec votre ex-petite amie.

Ce que vous remarquerez chez de nombreux couples profondément connectés comme ceux-ci, c'est qu'ils ont des petits surnoms ou des noms d'animaux les uns pour les autres.

Certains de ces surnoms d'animaux de compagnie sont génériques, comme bébé ou ma chérie, mais beaucoup de noms d'animaux ont des histoires derrière eux.

Voici quelques exemples de noms d'animaux avec des histoires derrière eux:

petite amie, petit ami, surnom, surnom d'animal de compagnie,

La source

petite amie, petit ami, surnom, surnom d'animal de compagnie,

La source

petite amie, petit ami, surnom, surnom d'animal de compagnie,

La source

Ces surnoms sont ludiques et séduisants, mais ils utilisent également une technique de mémoire appelée segmentation.

«FOCUSED» est un exemple de segmentation. Vous pouvez le comprendre sans que je doive l'expliquer à chaque fois.

Les surnoms comme Beeb et Mouse fonctionnent de la même manière.

Ils capturent une histoire entière Nous / Nous / Notre qui est pleine d'émotions, de signification et de sens et les enveloppent soigneusement dans un mot de code spécial.

Ce mot de code spécial et toute la signification qu'il contient sont ensuite gravés dans leur mémoire comme des initiales dans un arbre.

La meilleure partie? Un seul mot suffit pour déclencher les sentiments et les émotions de bien-être de l'histoire.

Et en utilisant utiliser leur mot de code, ils disent essentiellement "Nous sommes tellement connectés que nous avons notre propre langue."

Comment utiliser le pouvoir des surnoms

À une première date Tinder, ou une deuxième ou une troisième date Tinder, vous pouvez créer un surnom pour une «blague» ou une histoire d'une expérience partagée.

Il n'est pas nécessaire de le forcer. Gardez simplement à l'esprit les événements et les conversations amusants, uniques et intéressants qui se produisent entre vous deux.

Ensuite, vous répétez simplement ces surnoms d'animaux de compagnie de manière ludique tout au long de la date et plus tard lorsque vous lui envoyez un SMS. Il commencera immédiatement à transformer «You + Me» en «Nous» afin qu'elle se sente profondément attirée par vous.

Maintenant, si vous allez à un premier rendez-vous et avez une conversation terrible, cela signifie-t-il que vous pouvez vous faire des surnoms mignons et que tout ira bien et dandy?

Bien sûr que non.

Les surnoms sont comme enfoncer un clou dans un morceau de bois – si le bois est faible ou pourri, c'est inutile. Si l'histoire sous-jacente est faible, les surnoms ne feront rien.

Mais quand il y a des émotions riches et des histoires intéressantes à creuser, l'effet d'un surnom peut être incroyable. Ils peuvent établir une connexion et aider à la maintenir solide pendant des années… même toute une vie.


Chapitre 11

The Little Island Game

Une autre technique unificatrice est un jeu de conversation coquin et ludique que j'appelle The Little Island Game. Cela laisse toujours les femmes rire et parfois rougir.

Fondamentalement, c'est un jeu où le gars et la fille créent une histoire imaginaire sur le fait de passer un moment incroyable ensemble sur une île déserte.

Ce jeu semble idiot… Et ça l'est. Mais c'est amusant et fonctionne comme un fou.

Après avoir joué The Little Island Game avec une femme un soir, le lendemain, elle a envoyé ce message:

réponse texte, amadou, fille

Comme vous pouvez le voir, le jeu a créé une mémoire collante dans l'esprit de la femme et l'a amenée à le pourchasser.

Elle le voulait littéralement le plus tôt possible (à 15 h 30 un jour de semaine) afin de pouvoir retourner sur cette île amusante et excitante qu'elle avait appréciée avec lui la veille.

Assez cool, hein?! C’est ce que Unity (et les mots de code) peuvent faire pour vous.

Rappelez-vous au début comment j'ai expliqué que même si vous êtes un gars génial, certaines femmes ne le voient tout simplement pas?

Eh bien, lorsque vous apprendrez à vous connecter avec une femme, elle verra instantanément votre impressionnant. Et elle voudra plus de vous.

Imaginez à quel point ce sera formidable que des femmes vous poursuivent pour un rendez-vous ou vous poursuivent pour aller chez elles, plutôt que l'inverse.


partage-sous-section-guide-amadou


Chapitre 12

Commencer le partage

Partager: (verbe)

1. use, occupy, or enjoy (something) jointly with another or others.

2. give a portion of (something) to another or others.

Both of these definitions of sharing are very important in creating a meaningful connection.

Firstly, you want to share a variety of experiences jointly with women you’re connecting with. Especially these:

Feeling emotion together, eating together, moving together, co-creating, learning together, losing together, and conquering together

Sharing these synchronizing experiences with women will help build a powerful sense of togetherness and closeness. Wherever possible you want to take up these opportunities.

Here are some specific examples of how you could be sharing in these powerful experiences while on a first date or while dating:

  • Learning to salsa dance together
  • Hiking a beautiful mountain together
  • Watching a powerfully emotive movie together
  • Working on a fun or challenging project together

The second part of sharing is about giving the gift of your awesomeness to a woman. This is where the magic really happens, and is what we’ll explore in the next few chapters.


Chapter 13

The Gift of Giving Your Awesomeness

Anthony Robbins, the successful self-help author who has worked with Serena Williams, Hugh Jackman, and Oprah Winfrey, revealed the best piece of advice he received:

This is true for attraction and women just as much as anything else. Your success with women is in proportion to the perceived value that you offer.

This value you provide isn’t just beneficial to women. It’s best for everyone, especially YOU.

Some guys do the complete opposite. They’re only concerned about what they can take for themselves and constantly leave women worse off.

At some conscious or subconscious level, guys like this know that they’re a liability to women they come into contact with. And in the end, this destroys their own self-esteem and self-worth.

They’re fine in the short-term, but it catches up with them eventually.

The alternative is to constantly add value to a woman’s life in some way. This is what makes your self-worth and confidence grow sky high.

That’s because deep, deep down, you will know that any woman that comes into your life is fortunate because you’re going to have a positive impact on her life. Or at the very least, you’ll do your best to.

Imagine meeting a woman on a first date with this attitude – it’s almost impossible not to show up with a vibrant and confident energy about you. Everything you do and say will ooze self-belief.

It all starts with the mindset of adding value to their lives.

In what ways can you add value?

What is the gift you can give? How can you share your awesomeness and make a positive impact in a woman’s life?

It could be as simple as brightening her day by making her smile or giving her a unique compliment.

making-girl-on-tinder-laugh

Maybe you take her on an amazing Tinder first date that she’ll remember fondly for a long time.

Or help her fulfill an experience she is seeking, like an incredible night of passion and fun.

Perhaps you’ll help her create memories of a weekend away filled with adventure.

Maybe it’s listening deeply. Teaching her something or learning a new skill together. Helping her tick off something on her bucket list. Perhaps even something as important as supporting her to achieve her life goals.

Whatever suits your awesomeness, whatever fits in with your desires to help, whatever you think she will value – do it to the best of your ability. Take pride in it, like a skilled craftsman takes pride in every piece of work he does.

And very importantly, do it all without expecting anything in return. There’s magic in that.

Your awesomeness is in you, ready and waiting to make an impact. The only thing you need to do is make the choice to share it every single chance you get.

What adding value does not mean

Adding value does not mean blindly complying with every request someone makes.

It does not mean relinquishing your own value and self-worth and handing it over. It does not mean muting your inner voice.

Put simply: adding value does not mean letting anyone walk over you.

When you are adding value the right way, it adds value to your life as well as theirs. It makes you feel great, as well as them. Every single time.

So are you adding value?

Perhaps you are already adding value, in which case you already know how powerful it can be.

If not, or if you can do more, I challenge you to start continuously sharing your gift of awesomeness at every opportunity. That means every Tinder conversation and every date.

The more value you add time and time again, without any expectation of getting anything in return, the more you’ll realize what you have to offer.

You will 100% BELIEVE that you’re a great guy that women doit get to know because you will be that great guy. This confidence and self-worth will also flow into other areas of your life.

By adding value you are a man of value. You value yourself, and women value you.

This is a highly unusual approach. Not many men play at this level so women will notice you immediately.

You’ll stand out and connect with women on whole new level. You’ll be the guy who delivers what other guys only promise.

All it takes is a choice. Add value by sharing your awesomeness, and do it without expecting anything in return. Your dating life will be transformed to a level you can’t even imagine.


Chapitre 14

The Simple Gift That Will Make Women Like You More

A simple gift that will make women like you more is a good compliment, and it’s a great place to start sharing your awesomeness.

Tinder knows this and tells us constantly:

tinder, compliment, profile

tinder, compliment, profile

Tinder, compliment, profile Tinder, compliment, profile Tinder, compliment, profile

Compliments will warm-up your Tinder conversation, inject it with positive energy, make the other person like you more, and make them more likely to say Yes when you ask them out for a drink.

How to Compliment Women on Tinder (or on a First Date)

At the very least your compliment should be:

  1. Sincere – something you genuinely admire or find attractive about her.

Then, to make the biggest impact, your compliment should ideally be:

  1. Unique – a compliment she’s never received before or explained in a way she’s never heard before. Something that can only come from you.
  2. Profond – when possible, target her core personality and deeper emotions.

For example, here’s a simple compliment I gave a woman who seemed to take pride in being kind and friendly:

compliment-girl-on-tinder

The woman below had a Tinder profile revealing that she works in the arts, has a creative personality, and included pictures of her dressed in unique outfits:

compliment,tinder

And here’s a compliment I gave a woman who had a picture of her dressed as Catwoman:

tinder,compliment

Almost all compliments will make women feel more drawn to you and like you more.

But it’s best to avoid using generic physical compliments like you’re hot ou you’re stunning. Women receive these empty compliments over and over from guys on Tinder.

A guy who says these kind of things is immediately revealing that he is no different than any other guy on Tinder. He is telling a woman that he has no worth that cannot be easily found elsewhere.

But most of all, he’s missing out on gifting a powerful feeling that comes with a good compliment: making her feel unique and worthy of special attention.

“We are unanimous in the pride we take in good and genuine compliments paid us, in distinctions conferred upon us, in attentions shown us. There is not one of us, from the emperor down, but is made like that.” – Mark Twain

The Best Compliment

When people remember the best compliment they’ve ever received, the ones that stand out are usually the ones which make them feel unique and special.

Here are some examples from people on Reddit recalling the best compliment they’ve ever received:

compliment-example

best, compliment

best-compliment-example

Not only do people remember good compliments for years after, they also remember the person who gifted it to them.

There’s a lesson in that.

There is no doubt about it, a well-gifted compliment is a tool that can bring you massive success in dating.


tinder-guide-subsection-emotion


Chapter 15

Your Job Is to Make Her Feel

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – MAYA ANGELOU

Emotion is the difference between you chasing women vs them pursuing you.

Here’s a parable that explains that concept of creating deep desire:

A young Salesperson was disappointed. He had lost an important sale.

In discussing the matter with the Sales Manager, the young man shrugged. “I guess,” he said, “it just proves you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.”

“Son,” said the Sales Manager, “let me give you a piece of advice: your job is not to make him drink. It’s to make him thirsty.”

So keeping that in mind, what’s your job on Tinder and on first dates?

Your job is not just to show a woman that you’re kind and dependable. It is to help her feel trust.

Your job is not just to use words and topics to have great conversation. It is to use words and topics to help her feel great while she’s conversing with you.

Your job is not to point out why you’re different from other guys. It is to give her a different emotional experience when she’s with you.

You see, the magic of creating a deep connection isn’t really in what you do or say, it’s in what you make her feel.


Chapitre 16

Strike the Heart

Tansel Ali is a world leading memory expert. He’s famously known for memorizing two yellow pages phone books in one day, which works out to be around 2,300 business names and numbers.

When I was learning how to be memorable and connect with people I had the pleasure of being coached by Tansel.

He taught me a lot of amazing techniques that went far beyond remembering someone’s name or how to memorize a shuffled deck of cards. We went deep and explored the art of personal connection.

One of the overarching principles, as explained by Tansel, was this: if something or someone is to connect and be memorable, it has to strike the heart. Not just the brain.

Let me repeat his words for emphasis:

It has to strike the heart. Not just the brain.

As analytical guys we tend to evaluate situations from the brain side of things and forget about the “heart” (the emotional side of things).

That’s an extremely valuable trait in some areas, like business, but not for connection and dating.

From a logical perspective it might make perfect sense for women to like you and to want to date you. But that logic isn’t enough. You also need to make sense to women from an emotional perspective.

The only way that can be done is by striking the heart and making women feel the right kind of emotions.

That’s when the magic happens.

Here’s an example of the effect this can have. It’s a text I received from a woman after our second date, after staying FOCUSED like I’m teaching you in this guide:

text,emotion,dating

It goes to show what a deep connection can do for you.

Shallow vs Deep

A shallow connection, or none at all, might still get you a date. She might think “Okay, I’ll go on a date with you” ou “Sure, let’s hang out again.”

A deep and meaningful connection makes her ressentir “I can’t wait to meet you” and “I can’t wait to see you again.”

The difference between these two are enormous and powerful.

One is head-level thinking, the other is gut-level feeling. One is going through the motions, the other is acting on pure desire.

She Kept Trying to Kiss Me

One of my clients is an aerospace engineer – a highly analytical kind of guy – who was struggling to get his head around dating.

When he came to me he was doing a lot of good things on Tinder and first dates but he wasn’t striking the heart of women.

So I coached him to become more aware of the emotions he was making women feel and and how to evoke the right feelings. From that point on it all changed for him.

Here’s what he said about a recent first date he had and the result of this new approach:

“I was planning to end the date with a side kiss, but we had such a deep connection, she kept trying to kiss me and by the third time, I just went with it. At the end of the date she also stated that in over two years she has not felt such a passionate connection with someone.”

That’s what you can achieve by striking the heart.


Chapter 17

Creating Emotion on Tinder Using Mystery

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious” – Albert Einstein

A couple of the best emotions you can use on Tinder are suspense and anticipation. They both arise when you inject a little mystery into your conversation.

It’s a pretty easy way to get women on Tinder to focus on you, because all you need to do is use a technique called creating “unfinished business.”

Basically, this technique is about creating an “open loop” that women feels the need to close. It could be anything like:

  • An incomplete story
  • An unsolved problem
  • An unanswered question

Here’s an example of how it can be used on Tinder with one of the higher performing Tinder openers I’ve created – the Siri opener:

tinder-conversation-starter-emotion-2

Even if the mystery from the opener is only a little bit intriguing, there’s a need to get closure by investigating further and replying to you:

https://www.tinderseduction.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/tinder-conversation-starter-emotion.png

Mystery increases her focus on you, and ultimately, increases your prospects of getting a date:

number, tinder, siri

Unfinished business has proven to be incredibly powerful at capturing the attention of women – so much so that “they can hardly think of anything else.”

(This is why we fall for Clickbait – it creates an open loop that plays on our minds until we get closure.)

The desire to get closure over unfinished business is more than enough to tilt the table in your favor and improve your Tinder results dramatically.

Later in this guide I’ll be giving you the best mystery-creating conversation starter there is and show you how to use it to get a date from Tinder in three messages.


tinder-guide-subsection-depth


Chapitre 18

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

When we talk to a woman on Tinder or go on a first date we want to make a good impression.

We don’t want to say the wrong thing. We don’t want to seem weird or silly. We don’t want to offend her and turn her off.

Most of all, we want to feel comfortable.

Basically, our natural instincts make us “play it safe” and be nice. So on Tinder we feel like asking pleasant and comfortable questions like:

  • Comment vas-tu?
  • How was your day?
  • What do you do for work?
  • What do you major in?
  • What are you up to this weekend?

And on first dates, we gravitate to topics like:

  • The weather
  • The venue
  • Nourriture
  • Work/study

We small-talk. We do it because it’s a comfortable option and because we think we’re being polite.

Now, small-talk can be helpful at times, but ultimately it’s terrible for connection and becoming memorable.

That’s because small-talk topics are usually bland, useless and all too common.

They’re weeds.

And if you don’t actively look after your “garden” then these small-talk weeds will pop up everywhere, take over, and ruin your chemistry with women.

The fact is, to create a deep connection you need to have deep conversation.

The Conversational Onion

Think of conversation like an onion. On the outside are the light and easy topics. On the inside are the deeper and self-revealing topics:

onion-metaphor-tinder-conversation

La source

Getting stuck in that first or second layer is why a woman will say: “He was nice, but there wasn’t any chemistry.”

Of course there was no chemistry – it’s because the conversation didn’t give chemistry a chance!

The world-renowned behavioral scientist I mentioned before, Dan Ariely, did an experiment with MIT students on this exact issue.

He found that generally, people who use online dating didn’t present themselves as interesting, all because they stayed in their conversational comfort zone (the boring zone).

By trying to be nice, they ruined any chance of creating attraction.

The lesson?

STAYING IN THE “SAFE” OUTER ZONE IS ACTUALLY A RISK TO CREATING A CONNECTION

Sure, a little small-talk won’t do any harm. It’s even necessary and beneficial in certain situations.

But if you want to impress women on Tinder or on a first date, if you want to be interesting and connect deeply, then you must not get stuck in “safe” topics.

You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

You need to be able to move from small talk to something deeper, more exploratory, and more challenging. The impact this can have on your success is instant.

Bringing an Anxious Guy Out of His Shell

Here’s an example of what deep conversation can do. It comes from a guy who came to me because he was struggling to talk to women.

After teaching him about deeper conversation and how to use it on a first date this is what happened:

Hello Marcus,

I followed your advice, and even though I was quite nervous to begin with (she was a lot prettier than her pictures!!), I think it went extremely well! We’ve had a second date already, and I think it really has potential!

So thank you very much for bringing an anxious person out of his shell, and out of his comfort zone!

Warmest regards,

This guy now understands that going deep brings out the best in himself and also showcases the chemistry he has with women.

It will do the same for you as well.


Chapter 19

To Fall In Love on a Tinder First Date, Do This…

If having deep and interesting conversation is the way to go, then what do you actually talk about? What questions should you ask her?

Well, imagine if you had a special list of Tinder first date questions you could ask a woman that would make her feel deeply connected with you. A secret weapon of sorts.

And imagine if this special list of questions would make her feel so connected to you that she’d fall in love with you within an hour.

You’d really, really, really want this list wouldn’t you?

Well, such a list does exist.

A number of years ago a group of psychologist performed an experiment to see if they could create “closeness” between two people by using a list of 36 questions.

The amazing thing is that it worked. Six months after the experiment two of the participants ended up getting married.

Many years later a lady named Mandy Len Catron famously followed this list of 36 first date questions. She ended up falling in love with the man she went on a date with.

36 Questions To Fall In Love on a Tinder First Date

Here’s that list of questions that helps foster intimacy on a first date (and could possibly make women fall in love with you).

Read this list and get a feel for how the questions start off on the outside of the onion and go deeper. These are the type of questions and discussions that create connection.

(The questions are broken into three different sets. Each set starts off a little shallow, then builds depth)

Set 1

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Pourquoi?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set 2

  1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  2. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  3. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  4. What do you value most in a friendship?
  5. What is your most treasured memory?
  6. What is your most terrible memory?
  7. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Pourquoi?
  8. What does friendship mean to you?
  9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  10. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  11. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set 3

  1. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
  2. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
  3. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  4. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  5. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  6. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  7. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  9. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Pourquoi?
  11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Pourquoi?
  12. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Can you see how these questions can easily create closeness?

They’re progressively challenging. They’re slightly uncomfortable. They dig deep.

They promote future visions, openness and honesty, seek out common ground, encourage unity, sharing, emotion, and depth. They are FOCUSED.

Watch the short video below where two people on a blind date undertake a similar process of engaging in meaningful conversation. You’ll see the true emotional power and connection that comes from going deep – the end result is pretty amazing.

Did you notice how they started on the outside of the conversational onion and slowly moved deeper? It really does give an impressive result.

And did you pick up the interesting thing she said at the very end? She said “Wow, nice meeting you. It was super fun and every emotion I’ve ever had in my whole entire life was just focused on that stage right now.”

So back to that list of 36 questions – what are you supposed to do with it? Do you just print it out on a piece of A4 paper, bring it to your date, and ask the questions one by one like you’re in the experiment?

Well, even though it sounds silly, you could, and it would help your closeness enormously. But you don’t have to – there are more natural ways to go about it.

The better option is to have a handful of these deeper questions memorized then ask them when there’s an appropriate window in conversation.

Or better yet, get a feel for the spirit of these questions and use them as a guide for exploring each other’s personalities. Create your own similar questions when you’re there in the moment on your first date.

When you go deep on a first date you can create consistently powerful connections like you saw in the video.

That means you never have to “hope” or rely on luck for a date to go well – you can make it happen time after time.


Chapter 20

How do I Avoid the Friend-Zone Without Coming Off as a Jerk?

Here’s an email I received from a successful businessman who said he was almost always getting friend-zoned:

Hey Marcus,

I haven’t been in a relationship in 5-6 years (have gone out on dates but they never converted to anything) because my priorities were different at that time. I’m completely out of the game when it comes to relationships.

I just started using Tinder and I’m happy to say I have a date with an amazing girl scheduled this Saturday. I think she’s there to just meet up as buddies, but I want to see if she’d be interested to talk about being in a relationship.

My biggest problem till now? I almost always get friend-zoned. I’m still really great friends with some of my previous dates from a year back.

How do I avoid the friend-zone without coming off as a jerk?

Another issue for me is to transition from a harmless first date meeting to a relationship. I’m a decent conversationalist (and definitely a good listener) so I end up chatting with my dates about all sorts of experiences and hobbies but never go into deeper, intimate conversation.

I’ve always been the “nice” guy. I only recently realized that I talk a lot about work, music and day-to-day life during my dates so I’m working on changing that.

Here’s an extract of what I told him:

When she feels comfortable with you, slowly start bringing in little pieces of deeper conversation that hint that there might be a relationship.

The best way to do this is by QUESTIONS. You see, questions direct people’s focus and emotion. You can get people to focus on almost anything you want with the right questions.

This is very subtle. It should be a completely casual and playful chat. Nothing serious about it at all. You’re merely exploring the topic.

A simple question to start off your exploration might be:

“So what did you find interesting about me on Tinder that made you want to get to know me?”

This will get her thinking about your positives and make her remind herself of why she likes you – a GOOD thing!

And I’ll say it again because it’s important: these questions should be asked in a relaxed and playful kind of way – discussed with a sense of curiosity and fun like all of your first date conversation.

When she’s finished answering, answer the question yourself. Let her know what you found interesting about her and what made you want to get to know her.

A little later in the conversation you might take the conversation a little deeper:

“Based on what you know of me, why do you think we’d get on well together in a relationship?”

Again, this is getting her to slowly come around to the idea of the two of you being in a relationship. And it’s showing your intentions.

It’s diving to a deep level and getting her to imagine an appealing future together. With you.

Can you see how it’s gentle and not being forceful at all? How it’s not sleazy at all? It should be fun and interesting. Toujours. You should be smiling and having a good time through it all.

What you’ll be doing is planting the seed of a relationship (or helping the one that’s already there grow).

You’ll be getting her to visualize and associate you as an intimate relationship rather than a friend. Getting her to feel more comfortable and open about it.

Before you know it, you’ll have developed the deepest possible connection that you can with her.

Here’s the message he sent me a little while later:

Marcus! So here’s an update.

We went out and ended up spending more than 7 hours together! It was so much fun talking about all sorts of stuff. The night ended with a short but amazing kiss.

I’ve been talking with her every day since then and I’m so glad I met her.

Thanks for being such a supportive mentor.

The last I heard things are going very well for them – they’re five months into a great relationship and just recently returned from an overseas adventure together.

It goes to show that avoiding the friend-zone can be done simply (and gentlemanly) by asking the right questions.


tinder,guide,steps


Chapitre 21

The Secret Steps to Tinder Success

In the first section of this guide you learned the 7 ingredients to connecting deeply with women. This new skill is going to completely change the way women feel and act toward you.

But there’s more to it.

Tu vois, if you don’t know how to “make the right moves,” then you’re still going to struggle to get dates consistently…. even if women like you.

Here’s a personal example of that…

A number of years ago I met this cute college girl named Olivia through an online dating site. Although we had never met up in person, we had been getting to know each other over email for three months.

During that time we sent each other 43 emails (I actually counted).

Then one night she sent me this weird text:

Her: How’s my favorite engineer doing?

It was weird because I wasn’t an engineer. She knew this because for the last three months we had mostly been talking about our jobs.

So I responded by texting her this:

Me: I think you’ve got the wrong guy, Olivia. I’m not an engineer.

She sent me a couple more texts that night but I ignored them.

The next day I woke up to this in my inbox:

So I’ve been talking to this guy named Marcus now for a few months, he’s intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, good looking and I can tell he’s adventurous and spontaneous and I think we have a lot in common. After months of asking about my life I neglected to ask him about his, then, when I realized this I asked him about his job as an engineer! When I knew he was a business analyst! How embarrassing! Now I think he has the wrong idea about me, that I’m selfish and work obsessed, and that’s not me at all. My friends and family are so important to me that I’m so busy making sure they’re ok that I don’t talk about myself much, it was just so nice to have someone genuinely interested in me and I took it for granted.If I’m being honest with myself I was scared, I didn’t know if I could trust the guy, I was still recovering from a broken heart and didn’t want to get too close in fear of the same thing happening. I didn’t want to come across as too enthusiastic and scare him away either, so I tried to be laid back and cool– but instead I came across as disconnected. What I didn’t see was that by asking me about my life he was telling me I could trust him.

I know if we got to meet up he’d see the bright bubbly girl I am. I want to ask him if we could meet up sometime but I think I blew my chance.

Thanks for listening, I just wanted a friend I could tell that to.

Xx Olivia

Even though I made the decision to ignore her, I was super-impressed with what she’d just said (especially the compliments!) so I started emailing her again.

That’s when she told me — again — that she wanted to go on a first date with me soon. She said we should:

“go for a day trip bike ride….take the time to just go somewhere and don’t stop….pack a lunch….stop somewhere nice, that’s quiet and just take some time to sit back, relax, and appreciate…well life actually”

Imagining us doing that made my heart pound hard in my chest.

That’s because at this time I’d never had a girlfriend in my life aside from high school. In fact, I’d never even been on a date before.

And even more embarrassing was this: A few months earlier I had moved to the other side of the country for work, but mainly so I could use online dating without being found out by people I knew.

Going on a date with Olivia was practically a dream come true for me. My first ever date! Maybe even my first girlfriend!

I told Olivia I was excited for our date and suggested a few ideas for our bike ride.

Two days later I received this email from her:

Hi Marcus,

Sorry for late reply, a surprising turn of events this week which has occupied my mind.

These last few months have been very hard for me. I haven’t been myself, I’m not that positive bubbly person that I know so well.

Last week I met someone who is starting to change all that, he makes me feel alive again and I can’t express how genuine he has been with me and I with him. It’s still in the making but I feel confident enough to say I want to take a chance on him.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve met someone.

I know we’re just talking on here but I thought it was something you should probably know. I’m not saying we can’t talk anymore but you must know that at this time I am not looking for a relationship, just friendship

Xx Olivia

That was the last I ever heard from her.

I Lost Her Because I Had NO CLUE

Here was a cute girl who told me she wanted to go on a date with me. Not once, but at least three times.

Mais because I had NO CLUE what moves to make, I lost her.

For three months I fooled myself into thinking that we had a connection and were “getting to know each other better.” The reality was I just didn’t know how to get her out on a date and progress things.

It’s no wonder she went off with another guy (who knew what moves to make)!

I used to be upset at Olivia for what happened. And upset with myself for losing her.

But now I smile.

That’s because once I discovered the easy steps to getting a woman out on a date I could see all the silly mistakes I made, and how far I’ve come.

I don’t want you to make the same mistakes as me. It took me years to find out, but it really can be easy to get women out on dates.

You just need to make the right steps on the “The Connection Ladder.”


Chapter 22

The Connection Ladder

The goal of creating a meaningful connection is to keep moving your interaction up the ladder.

You start off as strangers talking on Tinder, then move to talking on the phone.

From talking on the phone you move to meeting in person.

Then during your first date, you don’t just settle and think you’ve made it. You move up again to a deeper and more meaningful connection.

The key here is that every step of the way you’re injecting more of the “human element” into your interaction.

Every step up the ladder makes trust, rapport, attraction, and desire grow.

Here are four powerful reasons why you need to keep moving up that ladder.

1. You can only explore your connection from the top of the ladder

Remember how Olivia and I exchanged 43 emails (4,320 words) over the course of three months?

By doing this I was dawdling at the bottom of the connection ladder the entire time. There was no human interaction at all. Not even a phone call.

After all of that emailing and texting spent “getting to know each other” we never even got anywhere near knowing each other. We never connected.

Olivia and I could have been perfect for each other. Or maybe just perfect enough for a fun one-month fling.

Or maybe our sexual chemistry was perfect enough for one passionate night together.

Or maybe we could have been absolutely terrible for each other.

Who knows? It doesn’t matter because we never explored our potential fully.

And that’s the point.

To fully explore a connection — to squeeze out every last drop of chemistry you can with a woman and explore your potential — you need to be playing at the top level every chance you get.

It’s very, very hard to create a strong connection, or explore one, at the bottom of the ladder.

You need to talk on the phone and then meet up. The sooner the better.

2. There’s less competition up high

There’s always more guys competing at the bottom of the ladder. It’s a frenzy down there.

You don’t really notice it though.

That’s because behind the Tinder screen the competition is invisible. It’s not like being at a bar and seeing five guys trying to talk to the same woman you like.

But the competition is there, and it might be 50 guys trying to talk to the same woman you like.

Here’s the good news though: each step you take up the ladder, the less of this competition you’ll have to deal with. Not just a little less competition, but a lot less.

And when you reach the top of the ladder there’s literally zero competition of any kind.

Well, for a while anyway.

That’s because when you’re consistently spending time high on the ladder a different kind of competition emerges. A good kind. The competition women have for YOU.

You see, because you’re making a positive human impact with every woman you interact with, you truly do become one of a kind.

As a result, you become the thing that people compete for. It’s a nice side effect.

3. The higher you go, the more success you have and the less effort it takes

Where you put your effort makes a big difference:

A five-minute phone call is more powerful than 50 messages on Tinder.

A one hour in-person meet up is often more powerful than 10 hours on the phone.

Creating a deep connection on a first date can be more powerful than a year of mediocre dating.

you choose to spend your time on the ladder makes a massive difference, much more than the temps you spend on the ladder.

To put it simply, the more of the human element in your interactions, the more success you’re going to have, and the less time and effort you need to achieve it.

And sure, it still takes effort to consistently play at the top. But it’s a different kind of effort: one that is mindful, courageous, and FOCUSED.

That kind of effort is much, much easier in the long run compared to the alternative.

Grind it out at the bottom, or increase the human element and enjoy the rewards at the top. Your choice.

4. Momentum is magic

“I am suffocated and lost when I have not the bright feeling of progression” – Margaret Fuller

Momentum and making progress is seductive on its own.

If you and a woman are progressing, if it feels like you’re moving somewhere, then you’re both going to want to hang on for the ride.

But as soon as progression stops the magic fades.

Momentum is where the magic is.

As long as your interaction is progressing up the ladder in the right way then the woman’s interest will be there chasing you.


Chapter 23

How Long Should You Talk to Women on Tinder?

To answer this question I’m going to tell you about a medical student named Caleb who was using Tinder after recently coming out of an eight-year relationship.

He wasn’t doing so well. When I asked him why, he said:

"I’m well out of the dating scene, plus I was never a ladies’ man to begin with.”

What a load of junk.

He was intelligent, kind, motivated, fun, and generous, not to mention a doctor in the making – of course women would want him.

It’s just that he never knew how to move up the ladder efficiently so he never fully realized his awesomeness.

He never gave himself the opportunity to share his gift.

His Tinder conversations showed his personality well, but they were bloated, often twenty messages long.

This meant things would fizzle out before he could make it to the next step with women.

So I got him to really focus on decreasing the amount of messages he was sending, while at the same time moving up the ladder. We made efficiency and progression a priority.

A little later I received this message from him:

Hi Marcus, just thought I’d give you an update. In the 10 days since we’ve last spoken I’ve set-up 3 dates.

I set a personal best today, from opener to digits in just 33 mins with a date set-up during that time.

I can’t believe my mind is actually telling me to try and beat it for the next one!

Thanks for the confidence boost mate 🙂

À votre santé,
Caleb

What was holding him back?

It wasn’t his personality. It wasn’t his looks. It had nothing to do with “not being a ladies man” like he felt.

The fact was, he was taking too long to move up the ladder. He was dawdling at the bottom.

The vast majority of guys are just like Caleb – my previous self included. They take far too long to move up the ladder or simply don’t know how.

Once they start moving up, suddenly they realize they are great guys who women truly want. All it took to realize it was giving themselves an opportunity to share their gift.


Chapter 24

Speed (Efficiency) = Reliable Tinder Success

Here’s the deal: Even if a woman really, really, likes you and enjoys your Tinder conversation, there are still a lot of things that can take her away from you in the blink of an eye:

  1. She might feel disappointed with other guys on Tinder and delete her account all together.
  2. She might succumb to the busyness of life and get distracted from Tinder.
  3. She might go on a date with another guy – a guy who connects with her before you get the chance. Even though you’re the better option, he wins the race up the ladder so that’s who she goes with.

Any one of these things and many more can destroy your developing connection and have a woman disappear into thin air.

The scary part is you have no control over any of it happening.

That’s why it’s so important to have lean and efficient Tinder conversations. It’ll help you avoid the dangers until you make it up the ladder to a safe position.


Chapter 25

Overcoming the Fear that Holds You Back

There are a number of fears that hold guys back from making the right moves and progressing with women. One of the most common is the fear of being pushy.

The fear of being pushy is debilitating because it can keep nice guys like you down the bottom of the ladder.

And it can keep your confidence down as well, which makes the fear even worse.

Here’s how it happens…

If things are going well with a woman on Tinder we might think about getting her number, but the fear of being pushy makes us squirm and turn soft.

We think and act in a way that says:

“I don’t want to be impolite. I don’t want to rush you. Let’s keep talking on Tinder.”

Before you know it the woman has disappeared. Now there’s no meetup, no amazing date, no passionate hookup, and no beautiful girlfriend.

The Fear of Being Pushy in Action

Here’s an example of what this fear does…

A guy showed me this conversation he had with a beautiful woman he really liked. They were talking about meeting up:

“Estimated time of arrival?” “Sounds perfect” — She’s interested in meeting up. Or at the very least she’s committed to exploring the opportunity of meeting up.

Here’s the perfect opportunity to keep the interaction moving upward. If this was you, you could say:

“Great. What’s your number so we can work something out”

Si il said that they would have moved up the ladder and would have been one phone call away from an amazing first date or a passionate hookup.

But he turned weak-kneed because he didn’t want to be pushy.

By not moving off Tinder he basically told her “Let’s not create any momentum. Let’s stay on this bottom step.”

So that’s what they did. They kept talking and remained on the bottom step:

not-response-on-tinder

She stopped responding. She disappeared. Possibly forever.

His fear of being pushy made him lose a beautiful woman he really liked, and it also meant SHE missed out on his awesomeness.

The fear of being pushy results in hesitation and anxiety and procrastination and missed opportunities. It results in living your dating life on the very bottom step, barely making any progress.

The fear comes up when asking women for their phone numbers, asking women on a date, or anytime you have the opportunity to move up the ladder.

It’s completely unnecessary.

The good news is this: you can eliminate this fear instantly once you learn how to lead powerfully and be of service. This is what we’ll cover in the next chapter.


Chapitre 26

How to be a Nice Guy and Finish First

You’re a good guy with good intentions.

That shouldn’t hold you back.

That shouldn’t create fears and anxiety about making progress with women. Whether that’s getting their phone numbers, organizing dates, talking about flirty topics, hooking up, or moving into a relationship.

The fact is, being a nice polite guy is NOT a weakness in dating. It’s actually a massive strength.

Good intentions give you the ability to be unbelievably confident when it comes to moving up the ladder. Much, much more than a guy who doesn’t give a damn about what he says to women or about being pushy.

Honestly.

The trick is to channel those good intentions of yours into a new direction. The trick is to get away from thinking about being unhelpful, and instead share some of your awesomeness with women.

Do it in a way where you’re serving by leading and directing.

This is explained wonderfully by life and business coach Rich Litvin:

I’m directing the action as if you’re coming to a great auditorium and I’m standing outside and I ask, “Do you have your tickets?” "Oui." “Okay, then please go into that line. Now, when you get into that line, you’ll go here, then inside, and then talk to the usher; he’ll seat you.”

When you think about Tinder and dating like this your entire mentality changes when it comes to progressing your interaction with women.

Suddenly, you don’t feel like you’re being pushy. There’s no putting pressure on her. You’re actually being of service, to both of you.

This is where your pure and effortless confidence can be found.

As a result, when you feel like it’s time to get her number or take her out there’s no fear or anxiety holding you back anymore.

Instead, you have a feeling of extreme confidence and calm because you realize it’s an opportunity to put your good intentions to use. Comme ça:tinder,number,asking,phone,confident

That’s genuinely being of service and helping things progress, don’t you think? You’re helping her get what she wants, just as much as you’re getting what you want.

Most guys don’t see it like that.

But when you do see it like that (and now you do) it becomes impossible for you NOT to get a woman’s number, or ask her out, or kiss her, or ask her to stay the night.


Chapter 27

How to Confidently Get a Woman’s Number on Tinder

Now let’s look at the structure of “The Ask” so you can confidently get a woman’s number on Tinder. It’s really easy.

To get a woman’s number on Tinder all you need to do is build a bridge.

You build it from where you are to where you both want to go (a first date).

This is done by saying something like:

“What’s your number so we can organize that first date of ours?”

number,tinder,ask

You lead and serve by effectively saying, “Here we are. Over there’s where we both want to go. This is the step we need to take to get there.”

This isn’t asking (or pleading) for a number like most guys do. It’s helping.

Just like the man giving helpful directions in the auditorium, you serve by giving directions to your date.

The secret to success here comes from having earlier created a future by being FOCUSED with date-talk. As you remember, once the destination has been mapped in the future, then getting there becomes a lot easier.

As a result of this mapped future she wants to give her number to you.

She has a specific logical reason and a specific emotional reason to give her number to you – she wants to meet up with you like you’ve already spoken about.

That means it’s a non-decision for her – giving you her number is automatic. N'est-ce pas cool?

Here’s an example of date-talk where the woman says the date idea sounds “pretty perfect.” After that it’s simply a case of building a bridge to help us get there:
getting-a-girls-number-from-tinder

By building a bridge like this you’ll be genuinely helping her get to where she wants to go so you’ll always feel a sense of authentic confidence.

Can you see the difference when you’re getting a woman’s number like this?

It’s not being pushy. Or rude. Or desperate. Or rushed. Or overeager.

It is you helping. Really helping. Confidently and smoothly.


Chapter 28

How Do I Keep Women Interested Over Text?

call,tinder,phone,

So you’ve had a great Tinder conversation and she gave you her phone number. Congratulations.

Now what?

This is when most guys will ask me:

“How do I keep her interested over text?”

Here’s the thing: they ask this but it’s not really what they want to know.

You know why? Because no one cares about texting.

Think about it: do we want to text women or do we want to meet up with them?

Of course we want dates! We want to have hookups and pursue relationships and connect.

The real question here is not how to keep her interested over text, it is…

“How do I convert a phone number into a date?”

To do that, there’s one simple secret you need to know…


Chapitre 29

The Simple Secret to Converting a Phone Number into a Date

What’s the secret to converting a phone number into a date?

It’s simple:

The secret is you and your voice.

It’s having a voice-to-voice conversation instead of texting.

The secret is doing what 97% of guys don’t do: calling women after getting their numbers.

That’s the secret. It has very little to do with texting. One simple phone call can solve this struggle for you instantly.

Pretty simple, huh!?

I Landed 4 Dates That Week

Here’s an example of how this can fix a guy’s problem instantly when it comes to turning phone numbers into dates:

Hey Marcus

The thing I really struggle with is after pulling a woman’s number. I try to maintain the conversation and keep it interesting, but I find that a lot of convos die down really quick. Texting has never been my strong suit.

I told him, “After you get a woman’s number from Tinder, one of the first things I want you to do is send her a simple text that lets her know that you’re going to call her later.”

And I provided him with an example, like this:

text-before-calling-a-girl-from-tinder

Can you see the service in a text like this? Can you see how this is efficiently moving the interaction up the ladder and being helpful? Can you see how this kind of leading and directing is appreciated?

I then told him to call the woman as he said he would, and mapped out how he could go about it, explaining that it only needs to be a short phone call – just a quick chat so they could work out the logistics of the date.

Not long after I gave him those instructions I received this email back:

Hey Marcus!

First I just want to say your break down of the path you sent me is amazing. I landed 4 dates that week following your advice.

I appreciate your interest and advice, you really helped me out!

Calling a woman promptly after getting her number really is that powerful.

And the ironic thing is that once you stop worrying about texting women and call them instead, they will actually become more interested and text you a lot more.


Chapter 30

The Post-Call Transformation

After you call a woman from Tinder, and after she has made a verbal commitment to going on a date with you — to a REAL LIVE HUMAN BEING on the phone (that’s you) — everything changes for the better.

There will be no more games, no more playing hard to get, and no more second-guessing each other.

That’s because speaking to a woman on the phone is like a “save point” in a computer game. The phone call safely banks all of the good work you’ve done on Tinder.

after-phone-call-text-message

Hearing your voice will have made her feel more comfortable and trusting of you, and vice versa.

That means you can stop beating yourself up with worry. You can stop wondering:

  • Does she even like me?
  • Has she gone cold on me?
  • Should I text her more to keep her interested?
  • Does she think I’m being clingy?
  • Is she going to flake/ghost on me and leave me hanging?

You can leave these worries behind, at the bottom of the ladder.

Instead, you can feel relaxed and confident about where things are at.

This is what you want! This is stress free and enjoyable dating! It’s what happens when you build a connection.

This simple approach of calling women after getting their numbers can truly transform your dating life.


tinder,guide


Chapter 31

The Blueprint for Tinder Success

Okay, here it is – the blueprint. The recipe. The formula. The step by step guide for quickly and deeply connecting with women from Tinder.

Step 1. Open the Tinder Conversation

This is where you create momentum and get the ball rolling.

Everything flows from the opener. When you capture her attention in the right way, it will make the rest of your conversation incredibly easy. Put in a little effort here and you’ll receive big dividends later.

  1. Most (95%) of women won’t message you first. YOU need to be the initiator and take action.
  2. Be unique. Saying “Hey,” “Hi,” or “What’s up” isn’t memorable and won’t create a connection.
  3. Create unique associations and links. Reference her profile and relate it to something that joins the two of you together.
  4. If possible, compliment her by referencing something unique and specific in her Tinder profile. Ideally something so unique that no one on Tinder has ever commented on before.
  5. Make her feel emotion. Happiness, anticipation, and suspense are good goals.
  6. If possible, create some mystery and unfinished business. You don’t have to “give it all away” in the first message. Let her enjoy some anticipation and suspense. This will help glue her attention to you.
  7. Your first message should help build the foundations of your united We/Us/Our story.
  8. To get some inspiration you can steal my personal list of Tinder openers by using my app – it has over 100 openers that will create fun and flirty We/Us/Our stories.

Step 2. Raise Date Talk

This is where you talk about your date which will create a destination (a Future) for the two of you. Best to do this as early as you can, within the first few Tinder messages.

Once you paint this destination into your minds it will magnetically drag you both there.

  1. You’re not asking her out and you’re not committing to anything. You’re just playfully exploring the topic and the possibility of meeting up. You’re having fun with it. This is where 90% of the flirting happens, and where 100% of the meaning is created.
  2. Find a way to segue to the topic of your date. Build a bridge from your current topic to the topic of your date. Build it anyway you can within the first few messages.
  3. Help her visualize the possibility of meeting up. Paint a picture so she can imagine the two of you together and piece the story together. Use clues from her profile to determine what kind of date/meet up she would like, then start creating your story.

Here are some ideas to help you create that future story and destination:

  • What’s happening in your story? Are you eating? Having a few drinks? Beers or sharing a bottle of wine? Is it red or white wine? Are you dancing, laughing, flirting, or all three? Are you sharing embarrassing stories or creating stories about the decorations on the wall?
  • What are you both feeling? Are you enjoying the Saturday morning sun over brunch? Are you relaxing to music? Are you eating so much pizza that you feel sick (in a good way)?
  • is the story taking place? Are you at trendy wine bar, a tapas bar, a classy restaurant, a healthy café, your house, a museum, a dog park? Give the story a place to live and grow.

Pick one or two of these details to create an outline of your date and let her imagination do the rest.

  1. Once she’s commented on your date in a positive kind of way you’re good to go. This means you’ve connected with her as much as you can on Tinder! (Surprisingly, it takes very little to achieve this).
  2. You need to listen and look closely for signals that she’s connected to you. A guy who’s stuck in his own mind will miss these “I Like You” signals she’s giving away. If you’re really listening, if you’re really focused on her and her subtext, her come hither signals will be glaringly obvious to you.

Step 3. Get Her Number

After she has shown signs that she connected to Date Talk then it’s time for you to be of service.

By this stage giving you her number makes perfect sense to her. After all, she has a destination to reach with you! It’s an easy decision for her.

Remember: When you’re getting a woman’s number you’re not being pushy. You’re not asking for her number from a place of neediness. You’re really helping because the point of creating this connection is to share your awesomeness with her.

You’re directing from a place of meaning and purpose, and that is going to give you unbreakable confidence.

  1. After the woman has connected with date-talk, then get her number by “building a bridge.”
  2. Don’t get her Facebook. Don’t get her email. Don’t get any other social app details. These are all sideward or backward steps. You need to move forward. You’re getting her number because without it you can’t progress up the ladder to the most important part – calling her.
  3. All you need to say on Tinder is something along the lines of “What’s your number so we can work out our [Insert short description of your date]".
  4. Once you get her number there’s no need to text endlessly. Let her know that you’ll call her later that night or the following nights. Once again, this is an opportunity for you to be of service. That includes being a leader and being efficient.

Step 4. Call Her and Really Start Connecting.

This is possibly the most important step to connecting with women from Tinder before a date. The human element of voice-to-voice conversation cannot be beaten.

  1. Plan to call her when she’s most likely to be free. Perhaps that time will be in the evening after work, or on a Sunday afternoon.
  2. No surprises – don’t call out of the blue. Make it known that you’re going to call by saying something like “I’ll call you tomorrow evening after work.” Then when the time comes, give her a heads-up text five to twenty minutes before you call.Once she replies you’re good to go. If she doesn’t reply don’t call her. Doing this means you’ll never have to worry about leaving a voice message – Phew!
  3. A thirty-minute phone call is great. So is a one hour-long call. But it really only needs to be five to ten minutes long. C'est ça. All you need is just a quick chat to inject the human element and organize the logistics of your date.phone,call,length,
  4. When it comes to organizing the details of your date you simply continue to direct and be of service. Comme ça:

“So for our date, when are you free? Thursday evening around 7 p.m. is perfect for me as well. How’s that new wine bar at such and such for you? That’s not too far away? Great. I’ll book a table for us there at seven.”

Directing like this really is helping.

Now you’ve reached the “save point” and put yourself high on the ladder above every other guy on Tinder. That means you don’t need to work hard to keep her interested.

This call is a process that’ll launch you into your date warm and readied, rather than cold and distant. Cold and distant is what happens when people only text before a date.

Step 6. Have an Amazing First Date/Meet up/Hookup

By the time you’ve met up in person you will have connected at a decent level. But you can do much better – now’s the time to really explore your connection and take it to a whole new level.

  1. Continue staying FOCUSED: Future. Openness. Commonality. Unity. Sharing. Emotion. Depth. Keep with it.
  2. It helps to agree with each other upfront, in a playful kind of way of course, that you’re going to keep the conversation to kind of topics you really want to talk about.
  3. Unpeel the conversational onion and get into deeper and more interesting conversation.
  4. Finish the date on a high-note so you leave a lasting impression that has her wanting more. Do this with a perfect goodbye routine.

Step 7. Build an Amazing Relationship (If you so choose)

Never stop working on your connection. Make it a priority and work on it together as a team. Stay FOCUSED together.


Chapter 32

A Powerful Word-For-Word Tinder Script to Get a Date Right Now

Remember how momentum is magic when it comes to connection? Well, it works for everything in life. Especially transforming your dating life.

So let’s get going. Right now. Let’s create some momentum and get you connecting with a woman right away.

To help you do this I’m giving you a special gift.

It’s a powerful three-message Tinder script.

This routine will allow you to take action maintenant using the strategies in this guide.

It will give you a feeling for how powerful you can be when you stay FOCUSED.

Here it is in action:

tinder,script,routine,conversation,example

Let’s break it down so you can see the template and use it for yourself.

Message #1: The Opener That’s Impossible to Ignore

This opener is unique and it catches a woman’s attention. But much more than that, it creates unfinished business. Remember how powerful mystery can be?

It makes her curious and think:

  • “What could he possibly want to know?”
  • “Is he being serious or this some sort of joke?”
  • “What am I an expert at?”
  • “I’d love to help but what’s it all about?”

This mystery evokes suspense and anticipation which is a great attention grabber.

You’ve created an itch they just have to scratch and the only way to do that is to respond to you.

That’s why this opener has such a high response rate (one of the highest response rates you will ever get). It’s hard to ignore.

Here are the kind of replies you can expect to this open loop conversation starter: tinder,opener,response tinder,opener,response tinder,opener,response tinder,opener,response tinder,opener,response

tinder,opener,response

tinder,opener,response tinder,opener,response tinder,opener,response

Once they reply you have momentum. Now we’re rolling!

Message #2: Raise Date Talk

Stage two is to instantly focus the spotlight on the future by painting a picture of meeting up. We do that in a playful and flirty kind of way.

Here’s the template:

tinder-script-routine-template

Instead of typing this long message out you can copy it from my app then paste it into Tinder. The app is free to download on the App Store and Google Play.

As you can see, you’ll need to insert a lot of specific references into the template message. These references are very important – if you get them wrong the script will be less effective.

This also means that this script is only suitable for women who have a good amount of information in their profiles.

Here are all the references you need to add in to the template:

1. The Compliment: Ideally this should be a unique compliment that’s very specific to her.Tinder-routine-compliment-template-example

2. The “He’s talking about me!” Hint: Ideally, mention something so specific to her that she instantly realizes “He’s talking about me!” Perhaps her height or the kind of pet she has. If possible, merge this with the compliment so you’re doing both things at once.Tinder-routine-template-example-2

3. The Two Date Options: You describe two alternatives for her to choose from:

  1. A date that would be okay, but probably not ideal for a first date, and
  2. A date that you think she’d be interested in for a first date.

Par exemple:

  • hiking vs wine bar
  • classy restaurant vs relaxed rooftop bar

You want one of the options to clearly stand out as the best choice so it makes it easier for her to make a decision and reply.

And along with each date option you include a brief reason why the suggestion is suited to her:

Tinder-routine-template-example-3

4. The “In case that matters” Reference: This is another opportunity to reference her profile and make it highly personal. A good choice here is to use some information from her profile about her job or where she went to college or where she’s lived previously.

Tinder-routine-template-example-4

5. The Intelligence/Decision Making Reference: Here you put in another reference from her profile, this time making it relate to her being intelligent or making good decisions.

tinder,script,routine

Keep in mind that although this script is flexible and appeals broadly, it won’t work chaque temps. After all, every woman is different with different tastes.

With that said, if you pick the right women to send it to and then insert the right references you will have a good experience.

Message #3: Build the Bridge

Because your conversation is so FOCUSED, the woman’s response to message #2 will usually set you up to get her number. So then you simply lead and direct helpfully by getting her number with the bridge-building technique.

Here’s more of the routine in action:

tinder,script,routine,conversation,example

tinder-routine

tinder,script,routine,conversation,example

So make the first step.

Send that opener a woman on your list right now.

Use this routine to create momentum and to experience the power of what you’ve learned in this Tinder guide.

These principles can transform your dating life, not to mention the lives of every woman you share your awesomeness with. So use that template to help you kick-start your transformation!


Mots finaux

This is Your Opportunity

We are living in an incredible time with literally millions of amazing women just one swipe away.

Imagine it: millions of dates, hookups, and girlfriends are out there waiting for you right now. The opportunity you have is truly unbelievable.

The guys who can create meaningful connections are the ones grasping this opportunity. They’re standing out from the competition and thriving. They’re doing less and getting rewarded much more.

Guys who don’t know how to connect in today’s hypercompetitive world are missing out. Pinning their hopes on chance, they’re falling further and further behind every day.

As the dating world becomes even more competitive and technology-driven the gap between these two groups is only going to get bigger.

The good news is it’s possible for you to change from one group to the other almost instantly. Your entire life can change in an instant.

I’ve made the leap myself, and I’ve had the incredible privilege of coaching many clients over the years do the same. I’ve had a front-row seat to the miraculous transformation that comes from learning how to connect deeply in the modern dating world.

It’s a transformation that makes all parts of life shine brighter.

Now it’s your turn. It’s your turn to be great and have the dating life you deserve. Your opportunity is now.

And I really hope you do take it with both hands, because there are women out there that would really love to have you and your awesomeness in their life.

Question: What’s one takeaway or strategy you got out of this post? Let me know by leaving a comment in the(comments section below.)



Source link

Laisser un commentaire